There is a difference between what the experts call Active Listening and Passive Listening. In Active Listening you are sending a message back that you hear the other. In Passive Listening your responses are limited to nodding your head or facial expressions but the other person doesn’t really know if you heard them. Think of Active Listening like when someone uses a radio like a Ham set or the old CB radio. They use phrases like “10-4” because the other person cannot see them and “10-4” is a way of saying that the other was heard. With Active Listening, you are sending a “10-4” message. In fact you are almost going to repeat back what the other person has said. Because when you virtually repeat back what the other person is saying they will feel understood and heard and that improves every relationship. That is what we will teach you to practice through this web site.
We believe as a foundational matter that when we are hearing the other person in conversation or in an argument we are truly functioning in a healthy manner in the relationship. We believe that sincere listening is foundational to improving struggling relationships and improving good ones. We believe that active listening is fundamental to dealing affectively with disagreements. That active listening is the first step toward creating what is called “Win Win Solutions”. We believe that when you begin with active listening you are setting the stage for a healthy relationship.